Where Did You Come From? The Inspiration for "Swallowed Snakes."

Now that I'm making the next record, I've been going back to my old songs a lot.  I listen to them and think about where they came from, and why I needed to get that particular situation off my back.  Sometimes after you've recorded something and played it live for a while, it feels so far away from who you are at the present moment.  When I went back and listened to "Swallowed Snakes," off the Hard City EP, it was a foul experience.  To relive that song and to hear the sad howling I put on tape was like stripping in front of a large group of people.  Terrifying.  But whenever I'm terrified or angered by something, I know I've hit the right vein.  So here you go:

Everyone has a person like the one I wrote this song about.  When you’re growing up, even into your early twenties, you forge these connections and they are hard and fast and deep and then somehow they’re over before you want them to be.  Even if you know they should be.

I was terrified of this person, because he was impulsive and volatile and funny and a little bit crazy.  Those were all the reasons I was drawn to him also(See, don’t we all have one of these?).  I came out to LA when I was 22 to become a recording artist.  But if I’m being honest, there was a part of me that came because he lived here, and because I hoped that after all the years of back and forth between us we might be able to actually make a real go of it.  Of course it exploded.  A week after I moved to town, we got in an argument and never spoke again.  I know.  Awful. 

There were times over the next few years where I desperately wanted to call or write him, but I never did.  My body did what my heart wouldn’t let me do and refused to pick up the phone, physically forced me to let it go.  But when something ends with no resolution, it follows you around.  As my something did for years.  And sometimes I wanted to tear my hair out and punch myself and run naked into the streets screaming at the sheer frustration of not knowing him anymore(seriously, so much drama.  How do you people deal with me?).  But that didn’t seem healthy, so I wrote Swallowed Snakes.

Is there a song you want to know about?  Leave it in the comments and I will share.

04 Swallowed Snakes by anniestela